Tuesday, March 3, 2015

The X from Outer Space

The X from Outer Space
AKA Uch├╗ daikaij├╗ Girara
Directed by Kazui Nihonmatsu
Starring Eiji Okada, Shun'ya Wazaki, Itoko Harada, Peggy Neal, Franz Gruber
89 minutes
Country of origin: Japan

Between the wildly wretched English dubbing in this film and it's kooky theme song, I'm a very happy monster movie fan. Oh there's a ridiculous monster too? Oh shit! So the plot goes like this: six crews of space explorers have traveled to a distant planet and all six have disappeared. Well, it turns out that the old saying, "the seventh time's the charm", is actually true as Captain Sano (played by Shun'ya Wazaki) and the crew of the Aabygamma(?) head out to make history (and hopefully not fucking die like all the rest).

The funniest thing during this journey is that Lisa (played by Peggy Neal of The Terror Beneath the Sea), the only female member of the crew, isn't allowed to touch any of the ship's controls. That's probably the most insanely sexist thing I've ever seen in a film and I have no idea if it is supposed to be intended as a joke or not. You see, Lisa needs all of her free time for a love triangle between herself, Sano, and his girlfriend Michiko (Itoko Harada), who is back at the space station, fuming with jealousy.

While they are out in space, a UFO that looks like a fried egg shows up and jams the crew's radio. Next the ship gets covered in weird glowing meteorites. They bring a sample inside and head back home to Earth. While they are busy celebrating at a very odd party, the meteor hatches like an egg. Then the giant monster known as Guilala comes out of fucking nowhere! What the heck? The editing on this film is wild.

Obviously, the monster -some reviewers call it a giant chicken but I call it "surprise LOL space-bird"- is headed toward Tokyo to do some damage. The goofy and clunky confusion continues as yet another mission to outer space is undertaken by our crew. What are they doing again? How will this last minute mission save the day? Guilala then turns into a ball and flies around, causing even more destruction. Somehow they stop it and- shit, I have no idea what to make of this baffling ending.

You need to see this.

1 comment:

  1. No joke, my parents came this close to naming me Surprise LOL Space-Bird. They settled on Brad.