Friday, April 8, 2011
Franco Friday: Macumba Sexual
I looked in the mirror this morning to see if I have turned into a pervert yet. Hm... No, not yet. Other than a goatee, I don't have enough of the telltale signs of perversion yet. You'd think that all this exposure to filthy Franco and his freaky films would be enough to turn me. I think being a pervert means that you're lactose intolerant, your hands itch constantly, and you're subject to fits of nervous giggling when you show up for work each morning at the morgue (but you don't work there, not anymore, not since "the incident"). I can still meet my wife's gaze each day. Ladies and gentleman, I have hit the Franco wall.
Franco Friday #11
AKA Attack of the Chicken Head Zombie Vagina-Penis Sculpture
Directed by Jess Franco
Starring Ajita Wilson, Lina Romay, Antonio Mayans, Lorna Green, Jose Ferro, Jess Franco
While taking a vacation in a resort on “Happy Bay”, Alice Brooks (played by Lina Romay) is tormented by nightmares of Princess Obongo (Ajita Wilson) wherein she is beset upon by the princess’s sexual slaves. At the end of the dream, Princess Obongo dies. Alice’s boyfriend (Antonio Mayans) tries to comfort her as best he can (awwww yeah) but it is of no use. Alice gets a call from her boss with instructions to sell a house to a very real Princess Obongo. She travels to meet the princess, meets a creepy hotel clerk named Meme (Jess Franco), and gets friggin’ seduced and stuff. It turns out that Princess Obongo wants Alice to take her place as the Goddess of Unspeakable Lust*.
If I had to review Macumba Sexual using only one word, I think that word would be… Demoralizing. This film takes the themes of sexual obsession, madness, sorcery, and more sexual obsession and makes them hard to look at and boring. Not to be completely dismissive, the film does sport some beautiful locations and plenty of foreboding. I was definitely into the characters and what was going to happen to them but after an hour of gratuitous gooch shots, I just wanted the film to fucking end. At this point, I feel like I’ve seen more of Lina Romay than any woman I’ve ever known in my life. I appreciate the scenes where Romay is roaming around the beach town in Daisy Dukes and a flimsy top more than her completely naked.
Sadly, the interview with Franco and Romay on Severin’s DVD is more interesting than this damn film. I am just not that interested in porno as entertainment and I don't really care how close to Franco's vision this boring crap is. The only reason this friggin’ film ended up in my mailbox (thanks, Netflix) is because Franco directed it. I had absolute zero interest in seeing this but I knew I had better get it out of the way quickly. You gotta hand it to the guy, this movie is an enthusiastic little production and his cameo is priceless. Macumba Sexual feels like it’s 10 feet tall, horny, and full of mescaline. Stay out of its way or get fucked.
Alice: What do you think?
Meme: What do I think? I think you’re a fucking fake.
*Note: “Unspeakable Lust” translates to sticking little statues in places that little statues do not belong.