Friday, December 11, 2009
My hopes for Devil's Kiss were abysmally low so it is hardly surprising that it turned out to be totally perfect. Well, almost. This Spanish/French co-disaster is a slow and awful film but its saving graces are the wretched English dubbing and the sweet junky soundtrack. The dialogue has more pseudoscience and Satanic mumbo jumbo than the human body can digest plus there is pointless nudity and one (only one?) softcore sex scene that I didn't want to see. Okay, I've said too much already. Here are the highlights:
I was told to get my groove on.
I am Claire. Do not call me by that other name anymore.
Oh sweet leatherman, take me to a magical island.
The fashion world just threw up.
Why yes, I do have a weak ass bitch slap.
It's a living.
If I can tame this horse, I can tame you.
I'm a pretty tall dwarf, can I get a chair?
Why yes, I was in Umberto Lenzi's Eyeball. What about it?
Paul Naschy's agent said he didn't need this gig. But I do.
The fashion world just threw up. Again.
Hi, I'm Richard and I'm the hero of this motion picture.
Yeah well, we've all had this dream, haven't we?
I seriously spend 80% of my screen time doing this.
Loretta 2.0: I will dis you and dismiss you.
We are probably analyzing her stupid dead brain or some shit like that.
I'm Susan! Remember? You're supposed to care if I live or die.
We'll get there when we get there.
What used to have two thumbs and is now a pile of offal? This guy.