In my childhood, the holy trinity of horror hosts was Elvira, Joe Bob Briggs, and Commander USA. If there were any local horror hosts in my area at the time then I didn't know of their existence. Commander USA was the most unusual (and the corniest) of the big three and I never missed an episode. Or at least I thought I had never missed one. Dear God, look at that freakin' rap clip above. It delivers a special kind of pain. Thanks to the kind soul who has placed all of this great Commander USA stuff up on Youtube.